 |
| Allan Edwards and his wife Leeanne (Facebook) |
I was pleasantly surprised to see a media outlet like NPR covering a story that (shockingly) wasn't painting a negative portrait of a Christian fighting against his homosexual urges. That's a big deal because as it is now, society doesn't want to hear your opinion unless you're telling everyone to "embrace who you are" which nowadays isn't about who YOU are, as much as who everyone think you SHOULD BE. So, if you have gay desires you therefore have no other option but to act on them, or else your life is going to be unfulfilling and worthless...
...but back to the real point.
Allan Edwards is the subject of this post, and the story goes that he has been struggling with homosexual desires for a large majority of his life. He keeps mostly to himself until he ends up in college where he begins to open up to others about his inner desires and expecting the worst, is surprised to find that Christians after all are actually not hateful and senseless like the media and society too often say they are. He searches the scriptures frantically in hopes of finding justification for his homosexual desires, and after finding the opposite, he says, decides that although he is sexually attracted to men (still), he will follow the biblical model for marriage regardless and marries a woman (consult photo).
Living in the society that we do, I'm thinking everyone will be happy for this guy right? I mean....our societal slogan is basically "be the you YOU want to be." So if you desire to MARRY a woman, but have sexual urges for a MAN, that's okay. We use this as justification for pretty much anything and everything:
"You wanna wear makeup and eyeliner bro? That's cool. Be you.""You like those skinny jeans brah? That's totally you.""You wanna get a sex change and turn yourself into a woman? Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Be you."
And if you're relating with these lifestyles, don't get the idea that I'm making fun of you. I'm not. We really do say these things, because we want so desperately to be seen as tolerant...
...but then along comes a Christian guy...and he claims to be attracted to men. Instead of embracing this attraction, he wants to fight it. He wants to be more than just a mindless urge-machine that can't help but act on them. He wants to be defined by his love for God. He wants kids that he doesn't have to adopt. He wants a wife, surprisingly, in spite of being sexually attracted to men. He's wants to be a different version of himself than society thinks is best for him.
And OH the uproar.
All of a sudden it isn't okay for Allan to determine his own version of himself. Allan, you aren't allowed to be YOU. Society has chosen who YOU are. The choice is clear:
Allan is attracted to men, therefore Allan must accept that fact, give in to that fact, identify himself with only that fact, and stand as nothing more than someone who helplessly has no choice but to submit to his homosexual desires.
...and if he DOESN'T?
Well then, according to society, if Allan does not give in to his desires he will be hopelessly depressed, stifling who "he really is" and burdening his wife and children with sadness that he will inevitably dump on them in his attempt to "live a lie." It all sounds so compelling until you consider other types of urges that are not so appealing.
Like what about the child molester? He's sitting in prison wondering why the homosexual gets to act out on his desires, but he doesn't. BUT WAIT! Immediately you're thinking, "Well the homosexual doesn't hurt anyone! The child molester does!" but according to our very own standards, we don't have a choice in what desires and urges we have - we just have to act on them, or else we are stifling who we are! So, how exactly can you blame the child molester for something he can't control. What? You think he just sat around thinking, "how can I become attracted to little children"? He didn't ask for those urges. Most of those child molesters hate themselves just as much as you hate them.
So then, why is the child molester wrong? We've established that it isn't the child molester's fault that he has those urges, so the only thing we can blame him for is the actions he takes WITH those urges. When he acts out on those urges, he becomes "the child molester."
So what do we do with all this?
Maybe it's time we start realizing that not all urges are okay to act on. We already understand this in principle, but we LOVE to make exceptions. OH LORD HOW WE LOVE TO MAKE EXCEPTIONS...like:"Well he cheated on her BEFORE she cheated on him SO IT'S OKAY!"
No. It's NEVER okay to cheat on your spouse.
Just like it's never okay to touch a child inappropriately.
Are there TONS OF PEOPLE who have urges to cheat on their spouse? OF COURSE. Are there TONS OF PEOPLE who have urges to touch little kids. LOOK AT THE PRISONS. What I'm trying to suggest here is simple. Not all urges are okay to act on.
We need to stop justifying homosexuality based on "I like dudes, therefore sex with dudes is okay." We've already established that having a desire in itself isn't a firm basis for determining right and wrong.
Let's start looking at these subjects fresh and from DIFFERENT angles...and for GOD'S SAKE let's stop all trying to come up with our OWN VERSION of morality and find something that transcends our OPINIONS so we can actually have a basis for right and wrong...
I propose the bible...
...but that's for a different time. ;)
